Category Archives: Horrible Grammar

The Bear’s Runaway Bride – Amy Star

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Paranormal bear shifter romance with much more action than romance, horrible writing, and loads of errors

Blurb:

WereBear Alex always enjoyed living the solitary life in the Alaskan wilderness. It is not easy being accepted as a bear shifter so he was happy to keep himself to himself and avoid unnecessary human contact.

However, Alex’s life was turned on it’s head the day that he heard the shouting and screaming.

He followed the noise to see a woman in a wedding dress running through the forest and being chased by a bunch of mysterious men in black.

He did not think twice and he did what he could to save her from these men.

Now she is ever grateful to Alex for saving her life and it is clear that the two of them are about to fall for each other.

But just who is the bear’s runaway bride and who were the men in black she was running from? And most importantly, what will happen when they return??


If you read the blurb, you immediately get that the bride isn’t running away from the bear shifter but from someone else. So this is not the runaway bride trope.

There is much more action than romance in this novel. It’s the story of a few rescue missions. And it’s a good story. I like action. But I expect more romance, as in the evolution of a romantic relationship, when a novel is categorized as a romance. There just wasn’t a lot of relationship building. I’m giving this two stars because the story was good, and the writing was good in parts. There were just too many errors, which I will get into shortly.

Niomie is a Canada’s First Nation Indian. I like novels that have characters with unique heritage or disabilities. It makes them more interesting. I liked that she was strong, smart, and insisted on being seen as an equal with Alex. I also liked Alex, how his story came out, and how he grew emotionally.

There is unique shifter lore here, but it’s almost like there just is no lore. Shifters exist, but they are normal humans if you exclude their ability to shift and heal somewhat faster. Nothing happens when a shifter has sex, as in becoming lifelong mates. There is no biting, no fated mates, and no shifter culture/spirituality.

SPOILER: There is a HEA, sort of. I really don’t like that it just ends. There is no talk of staying together and where they would live if so, no marriage proposal, no epilogue showing a snippet of their future together. I get that they say they will face whatever comes together, but I would like more specifics!

Graphic sex scenes. Words like labia and vulva are used. These words seem clinical and take away some of the hotness for me. Some of it was really horrible. For example, “His penis deflated and pulled out of her, slick and wet like an insect fresh from its cocoon, and she cringed over top of him.” This description made me cringe too! The language used is so not hot. I feel like the author is trying to say, “They say this book won’t sell without sex in it? Then I’ll punish the readers with my descriptions of sex. They’ll never ask me for sex scenes again!”

Occasional foul language.

This is narrated (3rd person omniscient) instead of 3rd person close. We get some thoughts and feelings from both Alex and Niomie. This is unusual for a romance novel, and many people were put off by it in other reviews. Past tense.

Errors: 59, which is terrible! Wrong words, missing words, misspelled names, phrases that make no sense, and things that should be plural missing the s. “By the time…” is missing “the” – just “By time” – 12 times. But it is written correctly once, proving the author does know the correct form of the phrase. Formatting issues like the first paragraph of some chapters being centered text, a page break after a chapter title, extra spaces, and lines of text in italics that shouldn’t be. The author or editor also doesn’t know how to break dialogue into multiple paragraphs. To have the dialogue continue in the next paragraph, you must leave off the ending quotation mark. But you must have the beginning quotation mark at the start of the next paragraph to indicate it is still dialogue to the reader.

Some reviewers complained about the obscure language used. I’m absolutely fine with the lesser used words in the English language. But if they are used, they need to be used correctly! They are often used incorrectly here. It feels like the author is trying too hard to find good words and isn’t fully understanding them herself. Two examples:

“flat expanse of torn up moss and sphagnum”

…moss and sphagnum… but sphagnum is peat moss. So this basically says “moss and moss”. It makes no sense.

“…to survive so much physical apoplexy but have nothing, in the end, to remind him of it.”

The author is talking about the physical wounds that Alex received. Apoplexy is a specific ailment of stroke victims, generally not being able to speak. It can also be used to mean someone can’t speak – suffering a bout of apoplexy. But it certainly does not refer to generally having been wounded as Alex was.

240 pages. $2.99 on Amazon.

Six (A Demon Hunter Romance Book 1) – Carrie Thorne

Unique paranormal romance nearly ruined with grammatical errors. Currently free on Amazon.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Blurb:

Fate sucks. Even demon hunters deserve a little normal.

Born to fight the monsters that haunt our dreams, Quinn Fischer loves her job… until a prophecy from long ago points to her plucky demon-hunting team as those destined to take down one of the most notorious monsters of all time. Despite her hesitation, she goes all in with her fearsome team. After a devastating defeat, she’s blasted from the battlefield and splashes down off the northwest coast of Alaska, without a memory to her name.

Different from his fellow demon-hunters, Ryan Hunt wanted no part in their blood-thirsty ways. Creating a covert taskforce from his loyal Coast Guard buddies, they’ve set out to protect the Pacific from the monsters that threaten humanity. He’s got a good routine, until smartass, gorgeous demon hunter lands off his bow.

Bound to their birthright, they must learn to trust each other in order to get to the source of the increased activity around the Bearing Sea… and to find out where Quinn came from.


This is a great story. I loved the characters, even the secondary ones. It’s a great romance. I might even want to read it again if there weren’t so many errors. So I would give it 5 stars but can only give it 3 as is.

Errors knock me out of the story, like roadblocks when I’m trying to fly down a highway. 99% of the errors were the same thing – action sequences attached to dialogue as if they were dialogue tags. Smiling, laughing, sighing, and doing anything else but talking are not dialogue tags! Oh my freaking gawd! There was hardly a dialogue sequence in this novel where this error did not occur! It was driving me absolutely bonkers.

It’s difficult to take a step back and think about the story without remembering the constant aggravation and frustration. And then there were a few errors where actual dialogue tags like he asked were not attached as a dialogue tag. *pulls her hair out* I would like to read the next book in the series, but I can’t. I took a peek, and it has the same action sequence as dialogue tag errors. I can’t put myself through this again. If the author ever fixes these errors, I will happily change my review to 5 stars and read the next in the series.

This series has a unique mythology behind it. Demon hunters are the descendants of a “demon” who had a child with a human. “Demons” aren’t what we normally think of with that word. They are very humanlike in appearance, and most are not evil. Demon hunters have, “Rapid healing, strong immunity, physical prowess, [and] three times the average human’s lifespan”. When a demon hunter marries a human, a ritual extends the healing power and long life of the demon hunter to the human. Demon hunters were created to protect humans from the creatures that sometimes cross the “veil” between the two worlds.

I normally hate amnesia as a plot device and almost skipped this novel because of that. I’m glad I went ahead and read this. Usually, amnesia is used to reset a story. The author loved the characters so much that she wanted to reuse them to tell a different story, so they are reset to zero with amnesia. I hate that. But here, amnesia is the start of the story. So don’t let any bad associations you may have with amnesia put you off.

I loved Quinn and Ryan. Quinn is strong, funny, and sexually assertive even when she can’t remember who she is. Ryan is strong, sexy, level-headed, and sweet. They are both bad-asses.

The story is interesting with plenty of action to go along with the emotion. The pacing would be great if not for the constant errors slowing me down.

Semi-graphic sex scenes. They are generally short and not detailed.

3rd person past tense from Ryan and Quinn with a few chapters from secondary characters.

126 instances of using an action sequence as a dialogue tag.

Alright is not a word. It’s all right, two words.

Other errors: 13 (missing words, incorrect use of semicolons, wrong words, words not capitalized that should be, and missing commas and quotation marks)

344 pages.

Currently free on Amazon.


Favorite Quote:

Infuriating man. Nice backside, though. That was the kind of ass they wrote sonnets about. None specifically that she could come up with, but worth considering. If she never found out who she was, perhaps she could make her fortune with nice ass poetry.


Western Dreams – Becky Barker

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Sweet, sensual, second-chance contemporary western romance. Currently free on Amazon.

Blurb:

A fun, sexy second chance romance. Bree Conley is back at the Blackstone ranch and Reece Blackstone is at the end of his rope. Maybe he loved her once but that’s in the past, and now she’s a total distraction. How can he get any work done when Bree’s so beautiful, so sassy and so tempting?

Bree has no intention of rekindling their romance even though he’s a perfect specimen of drool-worthy male. She has new dreams to fulfill, which includes turning the neighboring ranch into a wildlife sanctuary. Maybe, if he’s lucky, she’ll take Reece for a walk on the wild side…


This is sweet, sensual, and emotional rather than erotic. There is only one real sex scene. It’s about two people’s insecurities and not communicating the truth until it’s almost too late. I liked it and would give it four stars if the grammar and formatting weren’t so terrible. The same issues that were in the first book from the 80’s are still here.

Sort of camera obscura descriptions in the sex scenes. Language isn’t “flowery” but along those lines without being over the top. It is much more subtle.

3rd person past tense from both Bree and Reece. Head-hopping within the same chapter or sections.

There are many extra spaces at the start of paragraphs, extra spaces or tabs between words, and weird unintended carriage return (starts a new paragraph) in the middle of sentences. Beyond that, I found 23 errors.

130 pages.

Currently free on Amazon – June 2021.


Captured By A Cowboy – Becky Barker

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Note: this would be 4 stars if it were ever properly edited!

Contemporary western romance that has aged well since 1987 but needs an editor

Blurb:

Raquel was never sure why she surrendered to a total stranger. Naive impulse, primal instinct or feminine intuition? By morning she was no longer a truck stop waitress but a woman on the way to an isolated Wyoming ranch with Holt Tyler — and he wanted to know all the secrets she’d guarded so carefully these past months.

Was he kidnapping her for his own selfish reasons or trying to rescue her from a deplorable situation? Did he really want to protect her or just take advantage of her? Had she fled a wealthy, powerful father only to fall into the arms of a passionate, possessive stranger? Time would tell how much of her heart had been captured by a cowboy. This is a very sensual romance set on an isolated Wyoming ranch.


Captured By A Cowboy was originally published in 1987. It has aged very well! The story is still relevant. It’s sweet, emotional, hot, and entertaining. It is fast paced and would be more so if it weren’t for all the errors. I loved the characters, Raquel’s growth, and Holt’s decision to let her go find her independence, trusting that she would return.

Unfortunately, this has clearly been digitized using text recognition, and it has not been proofread since. If you’ve been reading my reviews, you know that my brain edits what I read even when I’m only trying to read for pleasure. There was hardly a page that I did not make a correction on, and many needed several corrections. I love that we can get old books as ebooks now. But if you are going to charge for it, you must engage the services of a proofreader. And it clearly needed a better editor to begin with as all the errors cannot be blamed on a computer!

3rd person past tense. It has a head-hopping problem, jumping from Raquel to Holt and even to some secondary characters occasionally.

There were too many errors to count or even detail their types. It was hugely distracting from the story! It’s a testament to how good the story is that I made it to the end without giving up. I’d like to read more of Becky Barker’s novels, but I don’t think I can take it right away. She is still writing, so I hope her recent novels don’t have so many errors! – Update: The latest novel Barker has written does have loads of errors.


SAVE (SAVE Me-Series Book 1) – Ella Col

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Good story about love after abuse but horrible grammar!

Blurb:

Twenty-two year old, Bree Jensen is a survivor who managed to break free from her abuser and start a new life.

Bree fights to live a normal life. She does not want to be a victim or survivor. Bree just wants to forget.

Falling in love is the last thing on her mind, now that Bree has the chance to start over.

That is…until she meets her neighbor, Josh. Josh oozes sexual charm. He’s confident, talented, and he adores her. Bree finds everything about Josh hard to resist right down to his decorated body of tattoos, piercings and shag haircut. Don’t forget about those damn green eyes.

Josh has endured his own personal hell and meeting Bree has triggered emotions he thought were buried deep.

Will they SAVE each other from their chilling pasts and begin the fairytale both so desperately want?


The story is very good if predictable. That is the only reason I made it past all the grammar and formatting errors. They were driving me batty! But at least I didn’t get a headache.

I really liked both Bree and Josh. After her abuse, she got therapy and began to love herself again. Then she met Josh who is a reformed manwhore. I never like manwhores, but I at least understand it more when they have been using sex as a drug to numb pain. And once he met Bree, he was done. There was no cheating. There is some OW drama, but Josh handled it correctly, and Bree’s reaction was very mature. 3 stars. It would be 4 if it were ever well edited.

Bree and Josh both fall in insta-love with each other. There are several hot graphic sex scenes. Occasional foul language. There is no abuse within this relationship, the abuse is in both character’s pasts.


1st person present tense from Bree and Josh.

This is a novella, just 76 pages.

This seriously needs an editor. I marked too many errors to count. There were extra words, missing words, and wrong words, wrong or missing punctuation, formatting errors like extra spaces or tabs. Laughing and smiling and such were used as dialogue tags. You can’t smile a sentence! I swear! If the story were longer, I don’t think I could have made it.